Share:

" />
Published On: Wed, Apr 2nd, 2014

Enjoy Your Energy Drink With Bull Semen and Urine Extract (2014 April’s Fool)

We wish our readers a happy 1 April Fool’s Day 2014

nsnbc - : Energy drinks contain an ingredient extracted from bull semen and urine, revealed a study conducted by Longhorn Cattle Company (LCC) and a leaked video. If you enjoy your energy buzz while reading this article, you may decide to move on, or to put your drink to the side before your stomach revolts. 

Did you ever wonder where the name Red Bull comes from? Bon Apetit.

Did you ever wonder where the name Red Bull comes from? Bon Apetit.

No, leading energy drink brands like Red Bull, Monster, and other of the famous brands cannot exactly be called vegetarian friendly either, reports the reliable news source Daily Buzz. ;)

The drinks tested by LCC contain the substance Taurin, called after the Latin word Taurus. Translated into English it means Bull, which also explains the name of the world leading brand of energy drinks.

Taurin was first isolated from ox bile by Australian scientists Tiedeman and Gmelon in 1827. Taurin is often falsely described as an amino acid, ignoring that it lacks carboxyl. Taurin is found in the livers of bulls, as well as in their semen and urine, which prompts the question where the manufacturers of Red Bull, Monster and other bullish energy drinks are getting their Taurin from.

BULL_SEMEN_DAILYBUZZ

Photo, courtesy of the DailyBuzz.

The DailyBuzz published a leaked video, reportedly from the company that delivers the substance to the drink manufacturers. The video provides the answer, and it’s not from the bulls liver.

The employee who leaked the video paid for his disclosure of the horny bulls and the semen extraction for your personal enjoyment in your energy drink. It cost him his job because he violated company policy.

Whether these “facts” matter to you or how much it would matter after the seventh bullish breezer is, of course, an entirely personal issue. It’s a matter of taste. Now that you know what choices you have, you can make up your own mind.

Ch/L nsnbc

For those who haven’t yet noticed, this was our 2014 April’s Fool article. Our 2013 April’s Fool article was:

Venezuelan Government Announces Transition to US Style Democracy

AND OUR 2015 ARTICLE FOR APRIL’S FOOLS IS:

Fatou Bensouda welcomes Palestine: “We will prosecute according to best ICC Practice”

About the Author

- nsnbc international is a daily, international online newspaper, established in 2013. nsnbc international is independent from corporate, state or foundation funding and non-partisan. nsnbc occasionally republishes selected articles from other media. Republication of articles does not imply that we agree with media's editorial policy. nsnbc international is free to read and free to subscribe to. We appreciate and depend on modest donations from our regular readers; such as the equivalent of the price of one print newspaper per month.

Displaying 29 Comments
Have Your Say
  1. Sandy says:

    Oh Bull.
    Does that mean I have just given a bxxwjob? Puke.

  2. bigdog says:

    can they be sued for this

  3. nsnbc says:

    We hope that all of our readers have had a pleasant and peaceful 1 April 2014, and will spare you for more BULL until next year, beware. Until then, we’ll focus on bringing you independent news, analysis and opinion as usual. Thank you for reading nsnbc international and a bullfree 2014 from the nsnbc team.

    NB.: Most energy drinks contain VAST amounts of sugar, and artificial sweeterners are correlated to growing concerns about their safety.

  4. Ana mayo says:

    If this barbarian article is true,how como these kind drinks stil available?! We are in a first world conuntry,these drinks should NEVER be alloewed for sale,who gave permission for something like that be out and about? tha is addictive too .This is a dangerous liquid to soallwou.

    • Sandy says:

      Haha ANA…
      Have a close look at the DATE underneath the article, It is even written in RED LETTERS and NUMBERS for YOU April 1, 2014 hahahaa – this is a gift that keeeeeps on giving!

  5. Richard Meek says:

    This story has been debunked as false by Snopes and other fact checkers.

    Here is Snopes article:

    “””http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/bullsemen.asp#p3LWVyrpgGJXGePl.01″”””

    • Steven Jones says:

      Well Mr. Meek.
      We must hope for SNOPES sake that they have paid attention to the fact that this article was published as APRIL’s FOOL article in nsnbc which wrote the date in read letters 01. April 2014 – I mean let us hope SNOPES realized it because apparently YOU didn’t – I don’t know what that tells about SNOPES but it tells me something about YOU. :) – For fairness sake, there were publications which published this as serious news. It’s nsnbc that published this article here, on April 1 to make a fool of them too.

      The April’s Fool article from 2012 was “Venezuela establishes US Style Democracy”….

      http://nsnbc.me/tag/1-april/

  6. Richard Meek says:

    Yeah, I saw that after I posted my comment. :P

  7. mik3e says:

    note to everyone. This was made on APRIL FOOLS DAY YOU FOOL.

  8. BearRaWR says:

    So I am thankful that this was a joke because I really don’t want to give a bull my mouth.

  9. FOOL TOPIC ……FOR FOOL PEOPLE

  10. Oh god. So that really isn’t true right? Cause I’ve had a lot of monsters and I just had a red bull yesterday!!

  11. Oscar says:

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    Oh god that is hilarious…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

    SUCKED IN ALL YOU JUNKIES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • nsnbc says:

      Hello Oscar.
      I’m glad you enjoyed our April’s Fool article and our editorial team enjoyed your comment. The article has been among the top-ten most read since April 2014 and sort of proves that “Maslov’s Pyramid of Stupidity” is correct. ;).. It also shows why there is a need for reliable independent media. Now, that said, beware, April 1, 2015 will be coming up soon and we have already planned a new humor(on)ous attack on people who have been indoctrinated into believing everything that is being published without critical thinking. :D – Warm reg(t)ards. nsnbc international.

      • Richard Meek says:

        I recall seeing quite a few posts of this on my Facebook newsfeed. Crazy lol!

        • Debbie says:

          Yessss Richard. It’s even more laughable that some of the so-called renown debunking websites have fallen for the April’s fool and taken it seriously LOL !!!!! I can’t wait to see what nsnbc comes up with on 1st April 2015. :D

  12. Hector says:

    Nice April’s fools joke lol

  13. Lisa says:

    This was great. I let my friend read this while she drank her red bull and she spit it everywhere. The look on her face was priceless.

  14. Renee Baker says:

    That is so fucking nasty for some one to put bull spurm in ( red bull ) there are some fuckef up people in this crazy world!!!!

  15. That Taurine is also found in breast milk, so the next time I’m reachin’ for a Red Bull, I might as well reach for a big soft pair of… a… well, uhhh… huh heh.

  16. Liz :-) says:

    Apparently bul sperm tastes great

Leave a comment

XHTML: You can use these html tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>