Enjoy Your Energy Drink With Bull Semen and Urine Extract (2014 April’s Fool)
We wish our readers a happy 1 April Fool’s Day 2014
nsnbc - : Energy drinks contain an ingredient extracted from bull semen and urine, revealed a study conducted by Longhorn Cattle Company (LCC) and a leaked video. If you enjoy your energy buzz while reading this article, you may decide to move on, or to put your drink to the side before your stomach revolts.
No, leading energy drink brands like Red Bull, Monster, and other of the famous brands cannot exactly be called vegetarian friendly either, reports the reliable news source Daily Buzz. ;)
The drinks tested by LCC contain the substance Taurin, called after the Latin word Taurus. Translated into English it means Bull, which also explains the name of the world leading brand of energy drinks.
Taurin was first isolated from ox bile by Australian scientists Tiedeman and Gmelon in 1827. Taurin is often falsely described as an amino acid, ignoring that it lacks carboxyl. Taurin is found in the livers of bulls, as well as in their semen and urine, which prompts the question where the manufacturers of Red Bull, Monster and other bullish energy drinks are getting their Taurin from.
The DailyBuzz published a leaked video, reportedly from the company that delivers the substance to the drink manufacturers. The video provides the answer, and it’s not from the bulls liver.
The employee who leaked the video paid for his disclosure of the horny bulls and the semen extraction for your personal enjoyment in your energy drink. It cost him his job because he violated company policy.
Whether these “facts” matter to you or how much it would matter after the seventh bullish breezer is, of course, an entirely personal issue. It’s a matter of taste. Now that you know what choices you have, you can make up your own mind.
For those who haven’t yet noticed, this was our 2014 April’s Fool article. Our 2013 April’s Fool article was:
AND OUR 2015 ARTICLE FOR APRIL’S FOOLS IS: